It’s great to be back, isn’t it?
(Please note – I’m writing this section before the game against Everton, so a draw/win at Goodison and that sentence is genuine, a defeat and it is sarcasm, let’s wait and see)
Yes, that’s right kids – I enjoyed the Olympics as much as the next person, but even I knew that it was time to put away the laminated pictures of Ennis, Pendleton and Trott (Laura, not the dull England batsman) and get unnecessarily excited by events on/off the football pitch instead. And what excitement, quite frankly. Nick Powell! Shinji Kagawa (more on him later)! Robin van blooming Persie! Some Chilean forward and Dutch fullback no-one has ever heard of! If you’re a Red and there wasn’t any movement in your Y-fronts after those signings…well, you’re either a cold-blooded soulless miseryguts or you need to fire a tweet off to Pele, ASAP.
So twas the night before opening day, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, yet for many United fans alas! – for their minds were a-whirring. Van Persie to add to Rooney, Welbeck, Pea, Macheda, Berbatov. Kagawa to add to Young, Nani, Valencia….three doesn’t go into two, and ten sure as hell doesn’t go into four. Does Sir Alex know what he’s doing? Of course he does, but you look at the attacking options in our squad now and rather than see van Persie as the “missing piece of the jigsaw”, you see his arrival as Fergie breaking up the jigsaw, mixing it up and trying to piece it all back together again. That equation doesn’t even take into consideration young forward Will Keane, goalscorer supreme in the reserves and hopefully one for the future. A frontline of Kagawa, Keane and Kiko – KKK – careful now, you’ll get Luis Suarez wanting to join and all.
(I’m now writing this section after the match at Goodison. I was being sarcastic earlier, obviously)
Saturday 18th August 2012 finally arrived, bringing with it mixed emotions for me. On one hand, waiting until Monday night for the United game was thoroughly frustrating. On the other, it gave me a chance to watch other teams, and to indulge in one of my favourite pastimes – laughing at Liverpool. Oh, what a shambles, although Fellaini’s header last night has wiped the grin off my face a little. Still though, we’re already above Liverpool on goal difference after their visit to The Hawthorns ended in complete disaster. The ironic thing is that I’m due in West Bromwich myself on Thursday, for a job interview – so where Liverpool lead I aim not to follow. Quite frankly their performance on Saturday was the equivalent of punching the interviewer and then vomiting on his/her shoes, so once again I’m much happier “walking alone”, thanks guys.
I’m running out of words but I promised you a bit about Shinji, didn’t I, so I’ll save all the other nonsense I was going to throw at you for next week instead. He looked good last night, didn’t he? For a debut, it was pretty promising – the young Japanese lad clearly likes a flick and a trick, as well as a porno chick if the rumours are true. You can tell he’s got too much quality to look good and then fizzle out ie. Poborsky and Kleberson, and I reckon he’s going to be a fan’s favourite for years to come. The only problem I have with him is…well…his name.
You see, since signing him I’ve been calling him Ka-ga-wa, so you can imagine my surprise when I turned on MUTV to find everyone talking about a player called Kag-awa. “WHO IS WRONG, WHO IS RIGHT?” screeched David Brent in that episode of The Office where he plays his guitar in the training room, and I’m finding myself asking the same question right now. I’m tempted to just call him Shinji, to make myself look cool and different, but who knows. Maybe we should go back to signing players with names we can all easily pronounce. Alan Smith on a free, anyone?
Now he could be just the physical presence in midfield we so desperately need….