So….anything happened in the world of football this week then?
I jest, because to quote Ray “Butch” Wilkins, my word! My word, what a week it has been. Like all good stories though, a recap of football is better when tackled in chronological order, so let’s get in our time machines and head back to this past weekend and start this sorry tale from the beginning.
We don’t concede four goals at Old Trafford. (Okay okay, there was that derby game earlier on in the season, but that was an anomaly – great word – and a fluke) That was the thought going round my head once we had restored the two goal cushion and made it 4-2 against those pesky Toffees last Sunday lunchtime, but how wrong I was proved to be. Much like the time I believed Karol Poborsky was going to be the next Andrei Kanchelskis, football made a right mug out of me as the blue half of Merseyside came back and scored two late goals to stun us all. What can you say? After the game I had nothing, and I still don’t – a significant problem when you’re trying to write things about the match I admit – but it is done and we just have to get on with it. Just before I move on – it was a bad result, particularly after being 4-2 up, but some of the football second half was the best we’ve played for a wee while now. If you can take any positives out of the 4-4, it’s that.
What was really horrible about the draw is that you knew the game afterwards for city was an absolute doozy. No offence to Wolves….actually, that’s not true. Offence intended Wolves, because you are shite. I thought city were going to score at least 4 against the hapless Black Country boys but I reckon they took their foot off the pedal a little once they went 2-0 up. So the gap is down to 3 points now, and you can’t help thinking that at the end of the season, the two home games against Everton and Blackburn will be the ones that we look back on and think “Oh jeez”. Of course, that’s if we don’t win the title.
We still can – we can, honest! – but to do it we need a result in the game of games, The Hyperbowl, the game of the millennium, the Manchester Mad Mental Mega Mega Match ™, the game this Monday evening against city. Feeling confident? No, me neither, but I’ve been telling you lot for ages that Tevez is going to do us in. It’s just written in the stars, as Little Anger likes to sing, and we can’t really do anything about it. So relax. Don’t fret about it. If you must, fear the worst and then if it doesn’t happen you’ll enjoy it just that little bit more. Whatever you do however, don’t watch Sky Sports News for the next few days. Oh God, the hype. I can’t stand it, and it is infuriating me even more when I realise it’s making me miss my daily dose of lovelies such as Natalie Sawyer/Hayley McQueen/Millie Clode/Charlie Webster/Mike Wedderburn et al. If I ever stand for election – which I wouldn’t, because I’m not dishonest enough – my campaign slogan is going to be a simple one: Down With Hype – Careful Now!
Like the idiot boy I am I’ve rambled on and am almost at (alliteration!) my word count limit before I’ve even begun to talk about the Champions League. Oh, how I yearn for it! I thought the pangs of desire would have got lesser as the competition progressed, but quite the opposite my friends, quite the opposite. So Tuesday night came around and we were treated to one of the all-time classic games. I’m not talking about the result when I say that, mind, I’m talking about the fact that the match contained a sending off for John “Captain Leader Legend” Terry after yet another act of thuggery from the Chelsea man. T’was a straight red for “JT”, meaning he misses the final, a huge shame, I think we can all agree. Huge credit to Chelsea for showing some balls in the Nou Camp, but with so many defenders suspended for the final – as Geoff Shreeves gleefully pointed out – I can’t see them beating Munich in Munich.
Then again, I didn’t think there was a hope in hell of Everton scoring four in one game at Old Trafford, and look what happened there. Football is mad, and Monday night is going to be incredibly mad. How’s your nerves?