Good grief Charlie Brown.
Just a few hours after Sky Sports News tenuously ‘break’ that United are ‘interested’ in Harry Kane, the Telegraph go and pour cold water over it with information that both Daniel Levy and Mauricio Pochettino emphatically said Kane (and Hugo Lloris) will be at White Hart Lane next season.
Ilkay Gundogan has also felt the need to deny speculation linking him with a move to Man Utd or Barcelona. Is he simply trying to use it as leverage for a better deal or a more lucrative offer?
United completed the signing of Memphis Depay yesterday. I know, we didn’t see it coming either.
The Telegraph, usually excellent, have gone for the ‘no sh*t Sherlock’ news of the day by telling us United’s performance last season was undermined by how many injuries they suffered.
Talksport say we’re ‘closing in’ on Mats Hummels. They appear to have deduced this much from this report which they refer to, that has no mention of Manchester United whatsoever.
Nothing new about David De Gea’s proposed transfer to Real Madrid but if you missed it yesterday, Danny Higginbotham told us exclusively that he feels United should try and sort it out quickly and if this means the player is going, try and get a forward or defender in return.
FC Porto have apparently confirmed the sale of 29… I mean 28… Oh god no… anyway they’ve sold Jackson Martinez, who is in his late twenties (*checks*) to Milan after some random website linked us to him late in the day, but it is more ambiguous than the Kane / Sky story so we can’t even include him in our links.
Sticking with names we refuse to put in our ‘players linked’ list because of the lack of credibility in reports, the Metro (dun dun dunnnnn you’rewelcome) say we’re ‘edging closer’ to signing Sergio Ramos. Wow.
When we read the Metro we’re transported in to an alternate timeline continuum where we’re preparing for next season with Depay on one wing and our new signing Raheem Sterling on the other after the free newspaper told us last Sunday we had completed the signing of the Liverpool winger. You should see Doc Brown and get here asap tbqh, it’s quite fun.
But this is transfer season and as long as da hitz keep coming, websites will remain desperate to bring you misleading news on transfers just to get you on their website. We would like to think we’re informing you with what we think to be truthful from the credible reports we read (let’s be fair, if Levy says ‘no’ then it’s probably a no), but ask yourself these questions the next time you see one of those misleading headlines. How often do you trust that source to bring you the news, and how would you get the news without it? We all like a bit of fun and as long as we’re aware that Santa Claus isn’t real (what?! – Ed) nobody gets hurt.
If a tree falls in a forest and no-one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Nothing will ever defeat this as our favourite transfer story, anyway. Stranger than fiction!
One last note, well done to Wales! Gareth Bale obviously loves performing on these shores so you know, it makes sense to…
Anyway, today’s list –
Players linked to United : Dani Alves, Hugo Lloris, Mats Hummels, Nathaniel Clyne, Gareth Bale, Morgan Schneiderlin, Nicolas Otamendi, Felipe Anderson, Petr Cech, Raheem Sterling, Ilkay Gundogan, Lorenzo Gonzalez, Bastian Schweinstiger, Harry Kane, Karim Benzema, Cristiano Ronaldo, Fernando Muslera, Asmir Begovic, David Alaba, Carlos Bacca, Arturo Vidal, Joseph Colley, Gonzalo Higuain, Radja Nainggolan, Gregory van der Wiel, Mario Mandzukic, Christian Eriksen ’89, Roberto Dourado, Roberto Firmino, Memphis Depay